The Evolution of an Academic
Had someone told me on the day of my high school graduation in 1977 that I would one day be an academic, in possession of a doctoral degree and teaching at the university level, I'd have warned them that whatever they were smoking was muddling their brain. Yet, here I am, forty years later, in possession of not one, but two master's degrees, and a doctorate, teaching at a university. How did that happen?
It Wasn't Planned
I never planned to go to college. As a high school student, I hated school. It wasn't so much that I disliked learning. Rather, it was that I disliked the structure and rigidity of the scholastic environment. I was, and am, curious (hence the title of this blog). I loved learning about things that caught my interest. As a teen I became interested in solar power and, to this day, I can tell you that the proper angle for a solar panel is latitude plus or minus 15 degrees, depending on the season. I learned that tidbit of information somewhere around age 17 and it has never left me. And, I've always read on a variety of topics. Even as a elementary school student I was interested in topics such as psychology and anthropology, pondering on why cultures were different, for example, and read on those topics-- at least as well as a fifth grader could! But I hated the imposed structure of learning that schooling provided.
By the time I was graduating from high school I was done. No more school for me! So, I went to work. Now, it's important to recognize that in the mid-1970's a college education was nice to have but wasn't necessary for most jobs. Someone could easily get a wide variety of jobs that paid a decent wage, allowing a relatively good middle-class living, without having attended college. But things were changing. After a year of working, I realized that the really well-paying jobs required an associate degree. So, off to the community college I went. I had no idea what I wanted to do. So, like so many others, I chose a business admin major.
After blundering through a few business courses, however, I realized that the topic didn't hold much interest to me so I started digging around. I learned about this intriguing career called a Physician's Assistant (PA). I shifted my focus a bit and found a job as an orderly in the local hospital to help me decide if healthcare was appealing to me. I talked to a couple of PAs who, to my dismay, presented a less than rosey picture of the future of the PA. They were wrong, by the way.
While the PA picture was looking rather bleak, I also met and worked with a number of men who were nurses. When I had been working in a small local grocer, the owner's wife was working on her degree in nursing and suggested that I consider that. I thought she was nuts; nursing was for women. But, having met and worked with several men in nursing, and having gotten their whole-hearted endorsements of the field as appropriate for men, I thought, "why not?" I changed my major and off I went.
It's important to say here that in making that choice I found that my grades improved. Having a clearly defined goal certainly helped me to focus my energies toward my studies. I took, and passed with good grades, all of the biological studies the community college offered.
Having already earned the hours for an associates degree, it made little sense to spend another two years getting an AD in nursing, so I chose, instead, to pursue a BSN. I applied to, and was accepted, into a BSN program. I can't say it was always a pleasant two years, but at least I had a focus and was successful in my studies. And by 1983 I was a full-fledged licensed, RN.
The Next Stage
After completing my degree and passing the licensing exam I went to work in a Coronary Care Unit. I generally like the work and soon found that I wanted more. In this case, I thought that I wanted to move into administration. To that end, I began work on a Masters in Business Administration and by 1992, and two schools later, I had acheived that goal. I went to work as an administrator in home health. And hated it. It didn't take me long to realize that my personality didn't suit the world of management well. Still, I persisted in working in healthcare, returning to my roots as an RN.
Despite the realization that I wasn't great management material, there were still areas within management that intrigued me and I found myself drawn to reading and studying those topics. I had begun my studies in the mid-1980s -- just when computers were really beginning to show up in the workplace. They definitely piqued my curiosity and soon I was off playing with computers, learning how to program and how the darn things worked. This fit into my general curiosity of all things technical. I loved computers and exploring all the things you could do with them. I still do, by the way.
During the 1990s I returned to school again, first for a masters in nursing (with the notion of becoming a nurse practitioner) and later as a masters in information systems (to answer my interest in computers). Both of those pursuits were derailed by social and family issues that got in the way of my studies and prevented me from completing. For the MSN, in particular, a fading interest in becoming an NP was also a factor. It always saddened me that I never completed the MIS degree (even though I possess now much of the knowledge and skills that the degree would have provided me.)
Through out this time, I continued to read and study in a variety of topic areas. I remained an avid reader of both fiction and non-fiction. It was rare that I didn't have some book at hand, and visits to bookstores were a weekly occurrence.
Transition to Teaching
While working at a small hospital, I had the opportunity to take on the role of nurse educator for the facilty. I found not only that I enjoyed the work but that I apparently had a penchant for communicating concepts in a clear and concise manner. I was a good teacher. That experience, and the realization that it engendered, led me to explore the possiblity of teaching in an academic setting. I applied for, and was accepted, as an instructor in an LPN program. This I did for for nearly 10 years, with a two year interlude in which I taught health science in a high school (that experienced confirmed for me that secondary education was NOT a viable option for me!)
I enjoyed teaching LPN students. As I continued in that role, I found that my perspective on teaching and learning about nursing was changing. I also found that I was more introspective. I gave thought to how I taught. I sought out information on how to teach more effectively and efficiently. My approaches evolved from the "sage on the stage" approach that I had grown up with, to a more interactive approach. And, I became more aware of the value of education beyond simple career training. I didn't just want to teach students how to do the job, I wanted to teach them how to think. I had begun to realize that the more knowledge you have, the better able you are to make sense of your life, to make better and more informed decisions. Limiting yourself to knowledge only within the work domain limits your ability to grow and find value as a person. I came to realize that I wanted to teach at a higher level.
To teach beyond the LPN level, however, requires a masters degree or higher. So, back to school I went. Nearing completion of my MSN, I decided that a doctorate would open more doors. Not only did it open more doors for me, the doctorate also opened my eyes and mind to new ways of thinking. The experience profoundly affected my sense of self and how I view my world. Through my doctoral work I began to realize just how limited my own worldview had been. I began to read even more widely and more deeply on a range of subjects. I began to think about how critical the skills of thinking and reading were to success not only in nursing, but in life.
A common complaint of my students, most of whom are practicing RNs who are being forced back to school for their BSN by their employers, is that they don't see how the BSN helps them to become a better nurse. I can answer that now. How can adding more knowledge, regardless of the type of knowledge, not help you be more effective in working with others? How can knowledge not help you to see connections between ideas and experiences? How can knowledge of disparate concepts not help you to develop your own ideas more fully?
So, here I am. A teacher -- an academic. Even, perhaps, a bit of a scholar. This is not where I expected life to take me, but here is where I have found a sense of fulfillment. Mihaly Csikcszentmihaly, in his book Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience describes the sense of oneness one feels when things are as they should be in life. I think, in becoming an academic, I have found my flow. I have found my purpose in life.
Boy, am I surprised!