Having Too Many Interests

I have struggled for several months trying to put into words a thought that’s been bouncing around in my head. Yesterday, though, I ran across this blog that perfectly described my dilemma.

I think I’ve alluded to this whole idea previously, but was never able to really put it into words that made sense. What I finally realized, and that author put into words, is that I enjoy the process of learning, building, tweaking, and so on, more than I enjoy the actual outcome.

Take for example, my interest in Ham Radio. I loved learning about ham radio. I loved studying for the exams. I learned a lot! And I researched and bought a couple of radios.

But I don’t use them. At least not often.

Why? Because the journey to get there was more exciting and stimulating than the result of having arrived. I hold my license as an “Amateur Extra”. That’s the height of Ham radio licensing. I should, by all rights, be actively engaged in setting up and using radios. And, I do have a couple of antennas. And I do occasionally turn on the radios I have. But I don’t spend hours of my time either listening or talking on them.

I plan to start working on my CW skills. That is to say I want to learn Morse Code. The reality, I have begun to recognize, is that even if I become proficient at it, I won’t likely use it. Again, I like the journey more than the destination.

The same has been true of so many other projects. In my last post I discussed my beginning exploration of MangoWM. I’m happy with Niri; why do I want to explore something else? The answer, of course, is that I enjoy that process. BTW, I’ve learned a lot just since that last post was written. I have several programs now opening in their own windows when I startup. I’ve created a keybind to disable the trackpad so that I don’t accidentally jump around while typing. I’ll do a write up on that soon.

Or, take my interest in Flight Simulation. I was great guns on that experience. Bought a new computer designed for gaming, bought the yoke and pedals, etc. Then within a few weeks that stuff was turned off and I haven’t gone back to it. I did the initial exploration of it I wanted to do. Curiosity satisfied. Time to move on. Now, in fairness, I’ll get back to it, most likely when the weather turns colder and I can’t sit on my back porch typing on a laptop.

My point in all this is to document, once again, how ADHD mucks with your brain and keeps you from being as productive as you can be.

Everyone thinks that ADHD is all about distractability. And there’s no question that is part of it. But there’s also the “just enough” aspect of it. Curiosity (and maybe some boredom) drives us to explore new and exciting topics. But once that curiosity is satisfied “just enough” our interests wane and we move on to the next thing.

Let’s don’t forget, though, that there’s the flip side of that coin: Going in too deep.

Sometimes ADHD leads us to focus so intently and so deeply into a subject that all else falls to the wayside.

Years ago (has it really been 26 years?) I took an intensive program in internet networking/programming/administration. It was great because there was a lot of new and exciting stuff to learn in a variety of areas and it was fast-paced so I never had a chance to get bogged down. One week our programming instructor was going to be gone for a few days so he gave us an assignment in PERL to complete. I looked at and figured I could knock it out in a couple of hours and have the rest of the week to lollygag about.

I ended up spending literally 18 hours a day on that project for 4 days. Once I got into it and ran into glitches, I got focused in on fixing those glitches and NOTHING was going to distract me from that task. I forgot to eat. I worked incessantly on that task and nothing else. For FOUR DAYS.

Did I say we can get a bit too focused sometimes?

Overall, though, I think that the old saw, “Jack of all trades, master of none” applies to many of us ADHD-type folk. We learn just enough to be useful, practical, and even productive, but not necessarily enough to be truly a master of anything ¹.

So my thanks to Ben, the author of that post for putting into words the thoughts that have been bouncing around in my head like the little ball in the Pong game!